Sean and Ben's Excellent Adventure

Sean has just arrived home from his summer in San Antone. He's got a buncha stories to tell, but this one was pretty good, so thought i'd share it. Sometimes it's better if mom doesn't know everything as it's happening. That's my story, and Ima stickin to it.

The drive from San Antonio takes roughly 24 hours (according to Google), Sean says you can drive it in 20, but it actually took them closer to 30 because of a few side trips.

He (and Ben, the co-pilot) left San Antonio after checking Google Maps and handwriting the directions he deemed important (because of course the bachelor pad had no printer) about 1600. Stopped on the way to get the car serviced and fuel up. (How responsible, cool.) Finally....on the road! Ben fell alseep after 30 minutes and with "Monster Hitman" (2 ounces of concentrated caffeine) on board, Sean drove a coupla hundred miles until the gas level was gettin precariously low. They decided to fill up pretty soon so he woke Ben up so that he could (worry also, and) pay for next tank. Ben pointed 0ut a gas station as they blew past it, but they knew there would be another one up the road a ways. Fifteen miles later, they saw a sign for Iraan, TX with hospital sign on it; they figured there would be a gas station if there was a hospital (makes sense to me). Just off the exit to Iraan, there was a mileage sign indicating 14 miles to go; they had gas for maybe 20 miles (cuttin it kinda close aren't ya?). After driving 8 or so miles, it appeared that they were only heading deeper and deeper into the Texas desert, but now were committed to continue as they didn't have enough fuel to make it back to the freeway. The only things they could see were abandoned oil pumps that covered roughly 30 square miles, but not a sign of life was evident. A few miles farther into that 14 mile stint they came to a "T" in the road where a creepy cluster of 5-6 single wide trailers were crowded together. It looked like someone possibly lived there? Maybe? Our heroes decided to get out and knock a few doors. It was a scene from a horror movie (ever see Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Me neither too, but apparently Ben had heard about it and wanted to bolt.) There were saws and hammers lying all over the ground; old junker auto skeletons; a buncha sick lookin wild dogs. Nice mental picture, eh? Sean pushed open a few gates to delapidated fences to find more dogs, more tools, and more old cars....but no people (maybe that's a good thing?). In the distance, he spots someone wandering into the 'back' trailer. So they walked over and knocked on the door...

A voice from inside hollered, "Come in!"

So they pushed the door open and were met with (a 56 YO, very big guy wearing nothin but a handlebar mustache and soccer shorts) exclaiming, "You're not Joe!"

Sean introduced himself and Ben, "Howya doin? My name's Sean; this is Ben." He then told 'soccer shorts guy' that they were outta gas and wanted to know how much farther to the next gas station.

'Soccer shorts guy' introduced himself as Cecil; said the nearest station was 3 miles farther up the road and then took them on a tour of the complex. He offered them the use of the 'facilities' which were around the corner of the trailer. He pointed to the 'bush' and the 'tree' and a urinal that was duct taped and wired to the side of the trailer. "...Stole that out of a brothel in Mexico", says he. Our boys declined the invitation and were led round the front where they beheld a green sign with white lettering that spelled out HAPPY VALLEY. Apparently, they were in Happy Valley; population 9! Tacked on the same side of the trailer, was some sorta shelter that Cecil explained was called the 'Bunkhouse'. It had a scummy water trough inside that was used by all as the 'Coolin' Tub', which apparently was Happy Valley's version of a public swimmin pool. The several meat hooks and smoker were added attractions to the shelter along with a TV mounted on the wall. There was also one in every room so that they could see the NFL Network (being big, BIG Dallas Cowboys fans) whenever and whereever they were. Cecil even invited them to come back around for a beer and to chat after they gassed up. I can't imagine he has a lotta visitors out there at Happy Valley.

One more thing he showed these guys was the "Shili Wagon" (pictured below with Ben seated in the back--and Cecil tryin to get it started). This is a car with a loveseat bench thing positioned over the trunk and backseat. They use it once a year when they go to the annual Chili Cook-Off in San Antonio, so some of you may have seen it there! It's painted pink except for the hood which is graced with the Texas State Flag; hard to miss that!

The guys headed for Iraan, fueled up and went back to Cecil's place. (Yes! They actually did that!) Cecil proceeded to tell them some of the history of Happy Valley. The trailers were once used as office buildings for the oil fields and when the company moved out, the trailers were left abandoned. Cecil's parents moved on in and so he grew up there in Happy Valley. The other folks living in Happy Valley include his Mom who is gettin on in years and a pest control guy. Others have moved in as well, one even drives a Hummer.

Sean and Ben are now friends with Cecil on Facebook.